A Soldier's Regret - A Star's Desire
by kookiiz
Summary: Lightning Farron never forgave herself when it came to her sister. She swore to always protect her and to be there for her. Despite striving to change her fate as a L'Cie she is still racked with sorrow and regret. All she wants is a chance to apologize. Rock was a Black Star who grew weary of the hunt. For one moment she just wanted forget all about it and live for herself.
1. Chapter 1 - Regret and Desire

****A/N: Wow it's been a while ^^; This is ZxPlatinum and I've actually never published anything on my own yet. (Kookiiz was the one who did it for us.) Uh, I don't know what to say but sorry for the long hiatus what with school and things. I don't know where this idea came from, it just hit me one day during my morning commute. ****

****Over the years I've been writing more original stories (Well as original as possible in this day and age) and that has given me the freedom to shape my characters to the moment and have them feel and react in certain ways. I find it more difficult to do that with pre-established characters so expect minor to noticeable bouts of OOCness. (Especially from BRS/Rock)****

****As I'm typing this A/N I really have no idea where this story is going. (So bear with me If things don't make sense)  
>To clarify one thing I am aware that the BRS universe is... different? There are 3 very different versions based on the idea of BRS (Anime, Manga, Game) And for this crossover I will be using the Manga "Innocent Soul" (Despite the fact it only has 1 volume that I know of)<strong>**

****For those wondering about the junk in the square braces: When I type a story I tend to just ramble on and shove everything into one giant text document. These braces are for me to mark where Chapters (or in this case segments) begin and end so forgive me if my formatting is horrible.****

****This first "Chapter" is just introducing the two characters the story will primarily follow so don't expect much. I also wrote this really late into the night. (Trust me, it shows)****

****Without further ado I'll quiet up and just let you read.****

****Disclaimer: I don't claim to own Final Fantasy XIII or Black Rock Shooter. They belong to Square Enix and Huke respectively. Though the Manga elements of BRS belong to its author Sanami Suzuki.****

**[Lightning - 01: The Soldier's Regret]**

The plains of Gran Pulse were vast and teeming with wildlife. It was one thing to see these creatures in the Bodhum Zoo back on Cocoon but seeing them in their natural habitat was something else. They were wild, untamed, and free.

Lightning Farron, who grew up on Cocoon, simply stared at the lush world just outside her... cocoon...  
><strong>(AN: I know... I'm kind of embarrassed with myself.)**

"It's amazing isn't it?" The Lancer, Oerba Yun Fang, stood beside Lightning and took in a deep breath. "No matter how many times I see it I still have no words to describe it."

Lightning didn't turn to look her friend in the eye. She looked out at the supposed "Hell world" she had only heard stories of. It didn't look too bad. She would even go as far to say it could be paradise. (If there wasn't a lingering threat of being eaten by the native creatures)

"Here ya go!" Fang bent down and picked up a light blue star shaped rock. "Keep this as a welcoming gift from the Gran Pulse Welcome Committee!"

Lightning stared at the rock in Fang's hand. It was almost beautiful enough to be an Eidolith Crystal. She stretched out her hand and accepted the gift.

"I know you're not one for vanity items... Give it to Serah when you see her." With a wink and a nudge on the shoulder the Lancer walked off to join the rest of the party.

Serah Farron, the only family member Lightning had left in this world. She was turned to Crystal by the Fal'cie Anima and taken away from her. In a fit of rage and vengeance Lightning stood her ground only to be branded a L'cie just like her sister. Ever since that moment Lightning had felt lost. She had no direction and nothing left to fight for. It was as if a part of her soul was ripped out of her.

If only Lightning had listened to her. If only Lightning could turn back time and take back all the things she'd done wrong. She clutched the star rock and held it to her heart.

"If only I could wish on this fallen star..."

**[Rock - 02: The Black Star]**

The Realm of Hazama, or Threshold, is one that falls between Heaven and Hell. It is a perpetual state of Limbo where Stagnant Souls linger holding on to their final memories unable to move on. With time these unchecked souls can go rampant and unleash a terrible evil.

To counter this threat an organization of "Soul Hunters" was created, The Black Stars. These warriors were created for the hunt and as a result neither emotion nor individuality was needed.

"Rock?"

A pale young girl sat on a cliff looking out into the abyss of Hazama. A black hooded cloak covered her head.

"Rock, are you listening to me?"

A black snake slithered next to the girl and sat by her.

"Come on, Rock... We have a job to do."

She let out a sigh and slowly got to her feet. She held out her arm and let the snake coil around it.

"Is something wrong? You seem less talkative than usual."

The girl glanced at the snake and quickly looked away.

"It's nothing..." she muttered.

"Rock... We've been together for a while now and I know your behavioural quirks. Something is on your mind. You know you can talk to me."

She said nothing and kept a brisk pace.

"Rock, please talk to me."

The girl named Rock stopped dead in her tracks. Her foot just mere inches away from kicking a strange star shaped stone.

"Don't you ever get tired of it, Ron?" She kneeled down to pick up the stone. "I know it's our job to help Stagnant Souls move on but sometimes I wish things could be different."

The snake cocked its head.

"Different? What do you mean by different?"

"In order to purify Stagnant Souls we must experience their deepest desires and regrets. With our help they are able to move on but what about us? We live the rest of eternity carrying their memories."

Rock gripped the stone tightly in her hand.

"Sometimes I just want a break from hunting down souls... Sometimes I just want to forget that I'm a Black Star even if it's just for a day."

Ron sighed, "Rock... If we don't help these souls move on then they will become dark. This is a mercy for them. When you became a Black Star you vowed to give up your own desires."

"I understand that... I just... I just want one day where I don't have to burden their pain."

She clenched the stone to her chest and let out a low breath.

A Black Star was created for the sole purpose of hunting down Stagnant Souls. They didn't need emotions. They didn't need a sense of individuality. It was painfully obvious to Ron that Rock was no ordinary Black Star. Rock was different. She had something in her that made her different. After all this time with his partner Ron was finally able to figure out what it was. Rock was an innocent soul, she was pure and she deserved better than what she was given.

"Alright then..." Ron looked to the hazy Hazama sky sighing in defeat, "Take as much time as you need. We don't need to get to the next soul immediately."

"Thank you, Ron." She pocketed the stone and took her time walking at a leisurely pace.

**A/N: I know it's kind of short and rushed. It's not one of my best works and I'm 80% positive I'm going to rework it.****Anyway I hope you found it somewhat decent. Speaking for Kookiiz, this is ZxPlatinum wishing you all a pleasant day/afternoon/evening/night.**


	2. Chapter 2 - Time for a Paradigm Shift

**ZxPlatinum's A/N: I suppose this could be considered Chapter 2. (To me it's segments 3 and 4) I swear probably after this segment the rest should be long enough for me to consider calling them chapters. **

**Anyway the disclaimers from the first upload carry on here: I don't own Final Fantasy XIII or Black Rock Shooter. I just appreciate them and the entertainment they bring.**

**[Lightning - 03: Calm Skies Quell The Pain In My Heart]**

That night the party camped out under the stars. The night sky on Cocoon was beautiful but it felt hollow in comparison to the skies above Gran Pulse. The sounds of the wildlife brought a new level of immersion to Lightning who sat on a grassy hill keeping watch over her new family.

She ran a finger over the star rock Fang had given her earlier in the day. As much as she hated to admit it, she was grateful that Fang was with her. She was really the only other person Lightning could talk to about personal matters. Sazh Katzroy the ex-pilot was wise but Lightning didn't want to burden him with her problems. Hope Estheim, the teenage boy, was far too young to possibly understand Lightning would be hinting at. (Like hell she would pour her heart out to a boy who was coping with the loss of his mother) Oerba Dia Vanille was out of the question. Lightning already had a tough time figuring out how to approach her eccentric nature. And lastly she felt it would be difficult talking to Snow Villiers, the "bumbling giant" as she would often think. Lightning didn't want... thoughts... to pop into her head while speaking to her beloved sister's boyfriend.

This left Fang... It was easy for Lightning to talk to Fang. Hell, Lightning didn't even have to speak most of the time. Though the Pulsian Huntress teased her, a lot of her good natured ribbings hit the mark on Lightning's deepest thoughts. Part of her would often wonder why Fang was able to see through her so easily whereas the other part just accepted it.

Lightning glanced back at the campfire and saw her friends talking and reminiscing over a roasted Gorgonopsid carcass. She was sure it tasted better than it sounded. Sensing no immediate danger she stretched her limbs and laid down looking up at the stars.

Her mind immediately drifted back to memories of Serah and how they used to camp out on the beaches of Bodhum on those really hot days. She closed her eyes and could swear she heard her sister's voice quickly yet fluently recounting events that happened to her that day.

Lightning wasn't sure how long she was thinking about Serah but it hardly mattered. Her arm dropped on her stomach with the rock firmly in hand. With each calm breath her chest rose and fell in a rhythm. For the first time since being branded a L'cie, Lightning Farron was able to sleep peacefully.

**[Rock - 04: A Stagnant Memory Or My Heart's Desire?]**

Rock awoke that morning to a very strange sight. She was surrounded by... green... It was very different from the hazy black and blue she was used to in Hazama. She was lying down on grass and looked up at a beautiful clear sunny sky. The warm radiating light struck her causing her to flinch a bit. The smell of fresh air hit her nose bringing out a sigh from the young girl. "Is this the memory of another Stagnant Soul?"

A slight whistling started to grow louder as very happy redhead approached Rock.

"Wakey wakey, Lighty!" a cheery feminine voice called, "It's time for break-" She stopped dead in her tracks as the person lying in front of her was not the pinkette she was currently looking for. The redhead tilted her head as she continued to look at the younger pale skinned girl. She had two uneven spiky ponytails and eyes a deeper shade of blue than the woman whose space she now occupied.

"W-Who are you?" she stumbled back, "Where's Lightning?"

"...Lightning?" Rock held a blank stare at the other woman, "I don't know a Lightning."

Another woman with raven black hair walked up behind the redhead. She adjusted the blue sari that rested over a short black sleeveless top.

"Alright, Vanille, enough goofing off." She stopped and cocked an eyebrow at Rock. "Um... Alright then... Who is this?"

"I don't know, Fang. Lightning was sleeping here last night and when I came to wake her up she wasn't here."

The woman named Fang drew her weapon to Rock's neck. Her eyes had narrowed menacingly.

"What did you do with Lightning?" she growled.

"No, Fang, stop it!" Vanille threw herself at Fang and knocked the spear out of her hand, "Can't you see she's terrified?"

"Alright, alright!" She dusted herself off and knelt down to meet Rock's eyes. "Look... We had a friend with us. She was resting here last night and now she's gone. You're here in her place. I'm sure you can see why we're concerned."

Rock nodded and sat up. She tugged on the black cloak that draped her shoulders as she held Fang's gaze.

"I'm going to ask you some questions now. I need to be sure you're not going to hurt us. It's in your best interest to answer truthfully. Are we clear?"

Again, Rock nodded not taking her eyes off the Pulsian woman.

"Okay... First off, who are you?"

She took in took in a deep breath.

"My name is Rock. I am a Black Star." Rock caught the puzzled look Fang and Vanille shared. "My job is to help Stagnant Souls find peace within the final moments before their death."

Once again, Fang and Vanille shared a look.

"Um..." Vanille interjected, "N-Nobody here is dead..."

"We're all very much alive." Fang added.

Rock was very experienced with this by now. She had hunted down countless Stagnant Souls and seen the struggles they had dealt with. It had always made her feel bad trying to explain that they were all dead.

"This is the memory of a Stagnant Soul. One of you is hurting and can't let go..."

"No we're not." Vanille cautiously approached Rock. She took the girl's hand and placed it over her own chest. In that moment Fang tensed up. "Do you feel that? It's my heartbeat. It's proof that I'm alive. Fang's heart is beating too, and so is yours."

Rock looked down at her own hand and felt a thump from within herself.

"A... heartbeat?" This feeling was foreign to her. Despite how Fang had a weapon on her at one point Rock's heart was beating steadily. "So... This is the Realm of the Living?"

By now Fang was utterly confused. She threw her hands up in defeat and let out a sigh.

"Sure... Let's say that. Welcome to the Realm of the Living."

The pale girl turned away. If she was in the Realm of the Living then what happened to Ron? Was he still in Hazama? What would he say to the Black Star Council to explain her disappearance?

"Fang," Vanille tugged on her partner's arm, "If she's really lost then we can't leave her."

"We don't know anything about her. She could be dangerous."

"Isn't that what you said about all the people on Cocoon? Look at us now, we're back on Gran Pulse with friends that came from Cocoon." Vanille was the most precious person in the world to Fang. It was hard for the woman to say no.

"Fine. But I'm keeping my eye on her."

Vanille giggled and bounced her way over to Rock.

"Come on, Rock! Come meet our friends! We have breakfast ready in case you're hungry!"

Poor Rock couldn't fight back. The grip Vanille had on her was like a vice. She was dragged off towards the campsite while Fang lingered behind.

There were so many questions left unanswered and Fang was skeptical. Without Lightning it was now her job to look out for the group and ask questions that needed to be asked. But Fang also knew Vanille. She knew the girl's heart was pure and Vanille had a special gift when it came to other people. She wouldn't have grabbed Rock's hand like that if she had any reason to suspect her of being dangerous.

"What's this?" Fang knelt down and picked up a star shaped stone very similar to the one she gave Lightning the day before. Her eyes drifted back to the supposed Black Star. Something was not right here. If Rock's story was true and she did come from a realm of souls then where was Lightning**?**

**ZxPlatinum's A/N: In the next segment I plan to answer Fang's question. **

**So I'll admit... I hate doing introductory scenes. It's just an issue of me rambling on about something people may already know or may not really care about. Going on what I've said before I find it a lot easier to write about original characters since there's no expectation when it comes to them. No one, besides me, knows anything about them unless I say it. With predetermined characters there's a threshold that I should be aware of in terms of descriptions. Nonetheless I'll still keep on keeping on and hopefully this gets somewhere... acceptable. (Eyes recycle bin icon)**


	3. Chapter 3 - Lost Soul

**~Standard disclaimers and what not: Neither Kookiiz nor I own Final Fantasy or Black Rock Shooter/Innocent Soul. ^^ Hope you enjoy.~**

**[Lightning - 05: A Lost Soul]**

Lightning looked around at the hazy expanse before her. This was not the Gran Pulse she had seen the other day. It was far too desolate and barren to the home of her companions.

"Fang?" she called out, "Vanille?" she was met with stark silence. "Where the hell am I?"

"Oy, Rock! Where are you?"

Lightning heard a male voice in the distance and her hand instinctively moved to her Gunblade, which... was not where it usually was.

"Oy, Flat-chan! Say something!"

Flat-chan? Lightning thought that was an odd name for someone. Her eyes surveyed the area looking for the source of the voice. It shouldn't be too hard, there was barely anything to be used as cover. This also worked both ways seeing how there was nothing for her hide behind.

"Eh?" The male voice sounded like it came directly in front of her, "You're not Rock..."

Once again Lightning's eyes darted around. Was she going crazy? Why couldn't she see anyone?

"I'm down here..." The voice was getting more annoyed. "A little lower..."

Lightning's eyes dropped right to her feet where she saw a black snake. The two stared at each other for a while trying to figure out what was going on.

"Hey, lady... Have you seen a pale flat-chested girl with long black ponytails? She has a peachy sweater and a black cloak."

Lightning was stunned at the sight of a talking snake. All she could do was shake her head.

"Hmm... Alright then..." The snake was about to leave when it caught sight of something in Lightning's pocket. "Wait a minute, what's that?"

The soldier looked down and pulled out the star shaped rock Fang gave her.

"Huh... Rock had something just like that. Are you sure you didn't see her?"

Again Lightning shook her head.

"Strange... It's not like her to just disappear like that. I wonder where she could be."

Lightning tried to speak but she couldn't find the right words for this situation. Her mouth awkwardly moved as her mind tried to form some kind of sentence. The snake waited for a moment waiting for the woman to speak.

"Hey, can you talk? You look like you're trying to ask me something."

The poor woman was at a total loss for words. She must have looked like an idiot standing there. Finally after screaming internally she was able to ask a question.

"W-Where am I?"

The snake tilted its head.

"What do you mean? You're in Hazama... The Realm of Souls."

Realm of Souls? Lightning was utterly confused now. Was it all a dream? Was it ever real? Did she really see the Pulsian Plains?

"Are you saying you were just created? Where's your partner?"

Lightning was frustrated to the point where fumes would be shooting out of her.

"Ok..." The snake sighed, "There's no point in me bombarding you with questions. Why don't you tell me who you are and what you remember?"

Lightning nodded and cleared her throat.

"My name is Lightning Farron. I'm and ex soldier, formerly part of the Bodhum Guardian Corps. I was branded a L'Cie and I was on a journey to save my sister. Along this journey I made some new friends. We were traveling together and we swore to fight back against the Gods. No one decided our fate but us. We arrived on Gran Pulse and-" She stopped. Arriving on Gran Pulse was the last thing she remembered.

"Do you remember dying, Lightning?"

"Dying?" That was a really strange question. How could one remember their death?

"What I mean to say is that I don't think you belong in this realm."

"What is this realm anyway?" Lightning looked around still trying to accept the fact there was nothing here.

"This is Hazama... Think of it as limbo in a sense. It's a realm where spirits linger holding on to the memories of their regret and greed. These souls are unable to move on and they stagnate here."

Lightning thought hard about herself. She was holding on to the regret of pushing Serah away. She was holding on to the greed of never wanting to let her sister go to another person. Perhaps Lightning was killed on Gran Pulse and this is where she would have to bear her burden. She collapsed on her knees and clutched her chest. Where she expected to feel a heartbeat she felt nothing. Her body was hollow and she had begun to panic.

"I-I'm dead?" Her body began to shake horribly.

The snake noticed her heaving for air. She huddled herself into a small ball slowly rocking back and forth. No... This wasn't right at all. This woman was far too emotional to be a Stagnant Soul and definitely too emotional to be a Black Star. No, this had to be a mistake.

"Lightning..." It slithered closer to the shattered woman. "None of it makes sense. You remember you past life."

She stopped rocking and stared blankly at the snake.

"If you were a Black Star then you would have absolutely no memory about yourself. But if you were a Stagnant Soul then I would be experiencing your deepest regrets right now."

Lightning was motionless. She had no idea what this snake was trying to say.

"I believe you're not supposed to be here. Your stone is very similar to the one Rock was carrying. If I had to guess I'd say that is the key to finding her and getting you back to where you came from."

Still trying to hold herself together Lightning couldn't do anything but nod.

"I know it's difficult to understand what is going on here but I need you to bear with it. I want you to go back home, Lightning. I want you to return to your friends just as much as I want Rock to come back."

Lightning stared at the snake. She wasn't sure what she could do to get back home. This was the first time since becoming a L'Cie where Lightning was genuinely scared. All she could do now was trust the words of a snake.

"I may not know all the answers but I think I know where we can start. If you help me then I will help you. What do you say, Lightning?"

Her body tensed as she stood up. She looked down at her hands and struggled to keep them from shaking.

"Can you really send me back home?"

The snake shook its head.

"I can't promise that I can... Only that I will try."

She wasn't sure how far she would get or what she could possibly do but she wasn't going to accept it. Lightning Farron was not going to accept this as her fate. She would challenge the Gods if she had to. She reached out her hand towards the snake.

"I'll bring your friend back... I'll find some way..."

The snake coiled around Lightning's arm and looked into her eyes.

"Thank you... By the way, call me Ron."

**A/N: Platinum here kind of glad the introductory segments are done. I had this part done for a while now... Just got caught up with school work. I'm still hoping this makes some amount of sense. Lightning is... kind of really out of character (at least to me) but how would someone react in this odd situation? I'll be honest I don't know what else to say. My mind is a little melted with assignments and prepping for midterms. I'll try to get Kookiiz to upload something while I'm comatose next week. (As much as I complain I did this to myself :P)**


End file.
